One thing that is very difficult for anyone to do is to shift thinking about a divorce from a “win-lose” to a “win-win” proposition. Because divorce involves very intense emotions as well as possibly large financial stakes, it is easy to think in terms of a battle that one side will “win” and the other “lose.” However, it is important to remember that the best possible outcome for any divorce is for both partners to walk away having compromised to their own satisfaction, creating a win-win for them and, more importantly, for their children.
How can you “win” at the divorce table? Here are some tips from lawyers with years of experience in divorce and custody battles.
- Do not expect to get everything. Understand at the outset that some compromise will be required. You do not walk away from any contract without some consequences, and at the bottom of it all marriage is a legal and binding contract. You may be required to give up a certain amount of money and time in order to enjoy the freedom of no longer being bound in a relationship that has become intolerable.
- Make a mental list of “deal breakers.” Share this list with your attorney but not with your spouse. Much like any other negotiations, you will probably start out asking for more than you expect to get. However, having a “line in the sand” will make it easier to make decisions and to stick to them.
- Evaluate everything. With every item that you and your spouse are disposed to argue over, ask yourself: At the rate I am paying my attorney, how long will it take me to “pay for” this item? This may help you put things in financial perspective. You can probably buy a new bookcase long before you pay your attorney to fight over that used one in your home.
- Do not involve the children. No matter how bitterly you and your spouse fight over money or other issues, the children should never be involved in your disputes. This is a quick way to “win” a divorce, refuse to allow your children to be brought into the battle.
The Men’s Legal Center is here for you during this difficult time. Our attorneys have years of experience in helping you protect your rights and succeed in your divorce negotiations. Contact us today to find out how we can help.