There are many myths swirling around about men and divorce. Here are a few examples:
- Men always propose; women always file for divorce. This may have been true at one time but not anymore. Many women now propose to their husbands and many men seek a divorce when the marriage does not work out. The lines that define the old male/female courtship roles have blurred significantly as women become a more powerful force in the economy due to working outside the home. When women can earn their own salaries, they often take on the power that comes with that role.
- Women are the natural choice for child custody. While judges still tend to favor mothers in custody hearings over fathers if all else is equal, the old feeling that mothers are the natural parents to take care of their children is disappearing. This has to do, in part, with the dynamic of women in the workforce. When mothers work as many hours as fathers, it does not follow that they are better able to stay home and care for children. Many of today’s custody agreements involve the child spending about half his or her time with each parent.
- Children of divorce are more likely to have adjustment issues. This may have been true at one time. Many studies have shown that children of divorced parents had a harder time adjusting to social interaction and did poorly in school. However, the huge number of divorces has somewhat blurred the lines between children of divorce and other children. Many of today’s children adjust well to divorce situations if the parents are careful not to make the conditions acrimonious and if they get to spend time with both parents.
- Divorce means you hate each other. More and more couples are coming to realize that divorce does not have to be the end of an adult relationship. Many couples, in fact, remain friends after divorce and offer each other support and help when needed. This seems to depend on the personalities of the people involved and the circumstances of the divorce. If one partner cheated on or stole large amounts of money from the other, friendship is less likely than if the couple simply agrees to part ways.
Whatever the circumstances of your divorce, The Men’s Legal Center is ready to help you develop a plan to deal with the end of your marriage.