There’s no sugarcoating it: going through a divorce is a shell shocker. From feelings of being absolutely alone and helpless to denial and relentless guilt, divorce is one of the few things that completely changes just about every aspect of your life. In this article, we’ll discuss a few of the more common emotional stages of divorce and suggest strategies to overcome them.
You’re (not!) all alone. There will be days – probably quite a few – when you feel as if you’re the only person going through the ordeal of divorce. With 40 to 50 percent marriages in the U.S. ending in divorce, you’ve actually got plenty of company. While each divorce is uniquely personal to the divorcing party you can still benefit tremendously from joining a divorce support group; the moment you begin hearing divorce war stories from other people going through it, you’ll immediately begin to realize that you are absolutely not alone.
Other ways of dealing with the perception of being alone include:
- Embracing it. You are now single again and can enjoy things you maybe couldn’t while married!
- Discover new things. We’re constantly changing throughout our lives. If you don’t have a hobby, find one and devote yourself to it.
- Get to the gym. Endorphins released by our brains during exercise have been proven to provide us with a huge mental boost.
- Share your feelings. Chances are that someone within your circle of friends has experience with divorce. If joining a support group is not for you, identify a close and trusted friend with whom you can share your feelings openly.
Your life feels like a rollercoaster. From self-blame, guilt, incompetence, inadequacies and depression, rage, it’s quite normal for your emotions to run the gamut during your divorce. These feelings can go on for months and even years. Whether you realize it or not, you’re not thinking clearly at this time. Our main bit of advice during this time is to – if at all possible – refrain from making any important decisions until you’re feeling more like yourself.
Other ways of dealing with the perception of getting off the emotional rollercoaster include:
- Changing your routine. Even if it’s taking on a new job or volunteering, do something that will provide a new environment for you. What you’re looking for is to get the divorce off your mind…even if it’s just for a few hours.
- Don’t skimp on rest. The mental energy caused by racing emotions is exhausting. Your body and your mind need rest.
- Get your financial house in order. Financial duress can cause deep depression and worry. If you’re not good with money, make an appointment with a financial advisor.
Divorce is life-changing, and you’ve got enough to worry about. We can give you peace of mind and skillful advice for moving forward. Contact us here at Men’s Legal Center. Our office is located in San Diego, California, but we proudly serve husbands, fathers, and non-custodial parents in many surrounding areas.