What would you think if we told you that only one problem actually causes every single divorce? When you break down the reasons for a divorce, they all ultimately point to the same problem: unmet expectations. One or both partners are disappointed and feel that their expectations were not met, leading to the dissolution of the marriage.
When you think about it this way, it is easy to understand why divorce is so prevalent. As a society we have embraced an unreasonable and unrealistically romantic view of marriage that does not include the times when one partner or the other falls short. Even in sitcoms, marital problems are resolved in 30 minutes, leading couples to believe that they are not normal if their marriages do not always look like those they see on television and in the movies.
Therefore, the logical place to start ending divorce is before a marriage even takes place! If you are contemplating a new relationship, or if you are disappointed with your current one, here are some tips to help you understand better how to temper your expectations and have a more realistic picture of what marriage should look like.
- No one is perfect. We give lip service to this idea but we sometimes fail to internalize it. Everyone is going to make mistakes. If a partner is truly sorry for a mistake, show mercy instead of seeking justice. You may need mercy yourself, one of these days!
- Stand up for yourself. At the same time, you must stand up for your right to be treated with respect. Never allow a partner to treat you with disrespect. You will wind up feeling resentful and your partner will believe this is the way your marriage relationship should be. Be flexible, but do not always give in to everything your partner wants.
- Be clear with your expectations. Many unmet expectations have to do not with things partners did but things they did not do. It is not fair to expect a partner to read your mind. Tell your partner if something bothers you or if you wish to communicate differently.
The attorneys at the Men’s Legal Center are here for you if you are facing divorce, separation and child custody or child support issues. Contact us today for more information on how to protect your rights during the divorce process.