When considering whether to divorce, many parents’ primary concern is how the divorce will affect the kids. Parents often worry that the children will hate them for putting them into this situation. A recent study examined the effects of divorce on children from the child’s perspective, and the results were surprising. The study looked at several areas in which a child would be affected, including academic achievement, development of responsibility and financial stability.
How Do Your Children Really Feel?
Some children reported behavior problems in school such as acting out, bullying and trouble keeping up grades for a short time after the initial split. However, those problems seemed to level off and realign after the turmoil settled and the parents became more comfortable in their roles as single parents. In situations where there was a lot of tension, anger and arguing between the parents, the children reported feeling a sense of relief after the split. By the time the relief dissipated, they were often settled into a routine and had adjusted to the new circumstances.
Problems Related To Divorce for Children
Many children will feel the strain of family finances when one household becomes two. Some children report anxiety over lack of security while others adjusted quite well. The primary goal for parents is to try and keep the child’s standard of living as close to normal as possible.
Other areas in which children experienced problems concerned their own personal issues such as blaming themselves for the split, especially if they were perceived as “difficult” children before the breakup. These same children often reported struggling with relationships as they got older. This outcome was particularly prevalent when the relationship with one parent was strained after the divorce.
Many children reported being uncomfortable when one of their parents “badmouthed” the other. Unfortunately, this happens quite often in contentious divorces. Parents often do not realize when they say bad things about the other parent that it hurts the child’s feeling and causes loss of self-esteem.
Children Can Survive
Overall, children will weather through a divorce. The ultimate ease of their adjustment often depends upon how the situation is handled from the beginning. As with all things, it will take some time for the adjustment period, but children are certainly capable of managing the changes inherent in a divorce if they are given love and support.
A divorce not only affects your life but the lives of your children and if not handled properly will have lifelong repercussions. The Men’s Legal Center specializes in helping our clients find the best solutions for their families. Contact them today for help managing your divorce, child custody and child support issues.