The purpose of a custody order is to determine the length of time each parent will spend taking care of their children. Fathers typically rely on these custody orders to maintain consistent communication and healthy relationships with their children.
When an ex violates a court order, this can elicit feelings of betrayal and heavy amounts of frustration, which is completely normal. Something to note is that custody orders are legally binding in California, meaning that breaking them is against the law. Luckily, there are steps that fathers can take when custody orders or visitation orders are violated.
Common Ways Custody Orders Are Violated
There are multiple different ways that custody orders can be violated. The most common ones include ex’s refusing to allow court-ordered visitation, talking negatively about the other parent to the child, returning the child late, and making schedule changes without consulting the other parent first. Even any minor violations are grounds for intervention from the court.
Documenting Every Violation
Having physical documentation/evidence is so important in these circumstances. Make sure the first thing you do is collect all documents that have information relating to the custody violation. These can be emails, text messages, and dates and times of any missed visitations. Keep in mind that courts do not take verbal claims that lack physical proof into high consideration, so the more you can show them the better.
Nowadays, there are also apps that you can use that are designated specifically for co-parenting and they will keep documentation for you. California family courts often recommend using TalkingParents, which helps keep both you and your ex as organized as possible with all things relating to custody schedules.
Reviewing Your Custody Order
Before escalating this to the court, make sure you take the time to review the actual wording of the custody order. There are times where things can be misread or misinterpreted to the point of causing issues that don’t actually exist. Requesting compliance from your ex through a written form can sometimes resolve the issue at hand. You should also be aware that retaliating against your ex by withholding your child can severely backfire against you from a legal perspective.
Seeking Legal Enforcement Through the Court
If even after requesting compliance fails, you have the option as a father to file a Request for Order, which asks the court to further implement the custody order. They may decide to introduce fines to your ex, modify the custody agreement, or offer make-up parenting time. If violates are repeated, this is likely to have a heavy influence on future custody decisions regarding you and your child.

When Are Custody Changes Necessary?
Custody changes or visitation changes could be deemed necessary if your ex is consistently violating the existing orders. As the father, you would need to showcase how modifying the agreement will be in the best interest of the child, especially long term. The main reason why judges would grant these types of changes would be to promote more stability in the child’s life and to put an end to the chaos surrounding the custody violations.
Mistakes Fathers Should Avoid When Orders Are Violated
At the end of the day, you don’t want to hurt your own case. The best way to avoid this is by following a few general guidelines for yourself. First, do not withhold your child in retaliation to your ex. This only makes you look worse in front of the court and could immensely backfire on your end goal. Next, don’t entertain any threats or instigate any arguments with your ex. Finally, avoid waiting too long to take legal action.
Waiting too long to contact an experienced legal team when handling these violations can cause significant issues. That’s why Men’s Legal Center in San Diego is here to help you. Make sure you reach out for your free case review as soon as you can to get the answers you need.
