Divorce is a draining and usually lengthy process. It’s normal to feel heightened levels of stress when dealing with the conflict that comes with it, which is why mediation might be the right choice for you. The concept of mediation is the process of handling issues happening during the divorce collaboratively with your spouse. For many men in San Diego specifically, mediation can offer a more respectful and controlled environment compared to litigation.
What is Divorce Mediation in California?
Mediation uses a neutral third party also known as the mediator, to help spouses negotiate their divorce terms. Their job is not to take sides or actually make the decisions for the couple, but rather act as a kind of coach throughout the process.
Typical issues that are brought to the attention of the mediator include child custody disagreements, spousal/child support, and any issue regarding the division of property/assets. Mediation is usually voluntary, but some courts may encourage the spouses to utilize it. While the mediation can be very helpful in reaching these tough decisions amongst the couple, agreements are not finalized until they have been formally approved by the actual court.
Custody and Parenting Time
A huge benefit for having a mediator during your divorce is that it gives you more control when it comes to custody and parenting time. Fathers can actively participate in creating custody agreements and schedules rather than relying on litigation to do it for them. This level of flexibility could help preserve your relationship with your children by maximizing the time you’ll have with them on your own terms.
It also encourages active cooperation between both parents which sets a great example for your kids and makes everyone’s lives a lot easier throughout the stressful process.
Make sure you keep in mind that according to California state law, the court emphasizes on making their custody based on the best interest of the child, so showing that you have the ability to do that on your own terms will only strengthen your case.\
Cost and Time Efficiency
The cost of litigation can be a lot. Mediation is typically much faster of a process and much cheaper than going through a traditional divorce litigation. The easiest way to look at it is that the fewer court appearances that you have, the less legal fees are involved. If you were to succeed in making all of your legal decisions with the help of a mediator, it will only help you when it comes time to take the case to court because it saves the judge from having to make those decisions for you.
Privacy and Confidentiality
Court proceedings are public, while mediation is private. If you are uncomfortable with your financial and asset information being made public, then mediation is definitely a route that you will want to consider. This is especially pertinent to men who are business owners, professionals, or public-facing people.
When is Mediation Not the Right Choice?

Mediation is typically not the ideal choice in cases that involve domestic violence/abuse, high levels of power imbalances, or any type of hidden assets or dishonesty between partners.
When the law is broken during the marriage, litigation is often times the only true way to resolve the case, so it’s important that you consult an attorney to determine if mediation is the right decision for you and your case.
Even if you use a mediator, understand that you can still seek legal advice from an attorney and they can still advocate for you throughout the mediation process.
Seeking Legal Guidance
At the end of the day, whether you handle your divorce through mediation or litigation, it’s important that you have the right legal representation that has your best interests in mind as a husband and potentially a father. Men’s Legal Center in San Diego is a team of experienced attorneys that are here to help you. Make sure you reach out for your free case review as soon as you can.
