Divorce is such an emotionally draining process, and because of this it’s so easy to make spur of the moment decisions that may end up hurting you in the long run. This why being as strategic as you can is so important. Many men weaken their cases unintentionally by reacting on emotion or overlooking key legal requirements. Protecting your finances, livelihood, and relationships with your children are the most important factors to keep in mind and the proper strategy will help you do just that.
Mistake #1: Moving Out of the Family Home Too Soon
We normally would not think of leaving the home too soon to be a major issue, however it can negatively impact your custody, and property claims if the right process is not followed. A lot of men have the mindset of leaving early to protect their peace through everything, not realizing how much it can hurt their case.
What really needs to be kept in mind is speaking with an attorney during the entire process. The right legal advice will tell you when its appropriate to vacate your house if you so choose to and will also assist when it comes to handling the courts. California courts interpret physical custody and stability during a divorce so if they view you leaving right away as abandoning your children, you could run into custody issues when the time comes.
Mistake #2: Failing to Document Parenting Time and Involvement
Being as diligent as possible when it comes to documenting your time with your children is so important if/when the time for a custody battle comes. Being able to prove how much time you invest in your children will help demonstrate to the judge that you are an active father and prioritize your quality time with your kids despite the stress and commotion of the divorce.
The best way to document this time spent with them is to log your school drop-offs/pick-ups, all medical appointments, extracurricular activities, etc. Being as engaged and consistent as you can, will only strengthen your case.
Mistake #3: Letting Your Emotions Determine Your Decisions
Letting your emotions determine the decisions you make during times of stress is human nature. The important thing is to be aware of it to prevent it from happening. Sending heated text messages, financial threats, and just being generally confrontational are all common ways to react during a divorce but can end up doing your case a disservice.
Emotional reactions are usually seen as immature and can result in negative results during custody disputes, and strong levels of confrontation on a father’s end tarnishes his image in court. The best way to avoid this is to communicate in a healthy and effective way. Doing this through calm text messages, focusing on it being in writing whenever you can is your best bet.
Mistake #4: Hiding Assets or Being Dishonest About Finances
California is a state that requires complete financial disclosure throughout the divorce. Any attempts at hiding assets or income can result in strong penalties from the court, both financially and in terms of credibility. Being as honest as you can with paper trails to back yourself up is the best way to combat accusations of dishonesty. Make sure you also have conversations with your attorney pertaining to your property and familiarize yourself with the legal terminology as much as you can.
Mistake #5: Avoiding Professional Legal Help
Choosing to rely solely on yourself and the internet is one of the worst things you can do for your case. It’s common in California courts for mothers to hire legal representation almost immediately, putting the father at disadvantage if he lacks that same type of representation. The best way to get ahead is by seeking a skilled attorney as quickly as possible. Luckily, Men’s Legal Center in San Diego has a team of experienced attorneys that are here to help tackle the divorce process one step at a time.