When a court issues a custody or visitation order, both parents are legally required to follow it. If your ex denies or refuses to comply with the order, then you do have legal options. First and foremost, it’s important to understand that time orders are legally binding. One parent can’t solely decide to restrict the other parent from their visitation rights. Denial of court-ordered time can harm both the parent and the child.
Confirm the Court Order and Its Terms
Before taking any action, make sure you carefully review your existing custody or visitation order. Court orders often contain specific details about holiday schedules, transportation responsibilities, and all notice requirements. It’s important to make sure that you are complying with the order yourself and that there was no misunderstanding about the schedule.
Sometimes disagreements come from one parent misinterpreting the terms or from relying on informal agreements rather than the court order. If the language of the order is unclear, obtaining clarification through the court could be the right call. Acting solely on assumptions can weaken your position later if enforcement becomes necessary.
Document Every Time a Visit is Denied
If your ex refuses to comply with the court-ordered schedule, documentation becomes essential. Make sure to keep a detailed record in writing that lists every denied visit, that includes the date, time and location along with any explanation that you can give. Save all text messages, emails, and voicemails that pertain to this missed parenting time as well.
It’s also important to remain calm throughout the exchanges and to avoid confrontation. If it’s possible, have someone neutral to act as a witness whenever you communicate with your ex. Courts rely more than people think on documentation when determining whether a parent has knowingly violated an order. A consistent and factual record strengthens your credibility and supports requests for reinforcement.
Attempt to Reasonably Communicate
Before you escalate this to the court, it’s a good idea to try communicating appropriately. Keep your messages completely focused on the child and the existing court order. Try and avoid using emotional, offensive, or aggressive language toward your ex, even if you’re frustrated. Written communication is usually the best approach, since documentation is so important.
In some cases, missed visitation is caused by scheduling confusion or other outlying factors, and not necessarily intentional restriction. Showing that you made an effort in the most respectful way possible can reflect very well if the court needs to step in.
Do Not Retaliate
While it can be tempting to react irrationally after dealing with all of this by doing things like withholding child support or refusing to engage with your parenting time, this will only hurt your credibility in the long run. In California, child support and visitation are treated as two separate issues. Failing to pay your assigned support or violating the order yourself will not do you any favors.
Judges have the expectations that parents will follow court orders, even if one chooses not to. Acting as reasonably as possible will ultimately put you in a stronger legal position when the time comes.
File a Request for Order to Enforce Custody
If the informal efforts that you make still result in issues relating to the court order, then you need to file a Request for Order with the court to further emphasize the original custody agreement. During this process, the court can handle the violation and implement the corrective orders to fix it.
Common solutions that get proposed by the court include make-up parenting time, modifying the custody agreement, or in serious cases, punishing the parent responsible for these violations through sanction. Repeated violations can negatively impact future custody terms, so it’s important that both parents are fully aware of this.
Getting Legal Guidance
Dealing with the courts throughout this process can be stressful. Having proper legal guidance is the best way to ensure you get the right results. Men’s Legal Center in San Diego is here to help. Make sure you reach out for your case review as soon as possible.