Valentine’s Day can be an especially difficult time immediately after a divorce. It’s completely normal to experience feeling lonely or depressed. Trying to balance being newly single along with the uncertainty of fatherhood can be stressful beyond belief. Even if you’re going through all of these emotions, this can also be the ideal time to focus on new beginnings, self-growth, and fatherhood.
Acknowledging Your Emotions
First and foremost, pretending like your feelings aren’t there is not healthy. Feeling those negative emotions that come with a fresh divorce is part of the healing process. Trying healthy outlets to help channel some of that pain such as reading, journaling, talking with friends, and therapy are all great options to take advantage of. Being able to recognize and process what you’re going through is a strength not a weakness.
Changing the Meaning of Valentine’s Day
At the end of the day, Valentine’s Day is like any other day of the year, and it is what you make of it. While people treat Valentine’s Day as a way to celebrate their love with their partners, another huge part of the celebration has to do with loving one’s family, friends, and themselves. Being able to focus on all of those things and channeling that love in a way that brings you joy and peace will do wonders for your state of mind.
Specific things you can do to reinforce this new definition of Valentine’s Day would be to have a movie night with your children or your friends, go volunteer somewhere, or even start a new tradition for yourself like eating a favorite meal.
Focusing on Your Relationship with Your Children
If you have children, your best bet is to plan something special with them in order to create new memories and a new meaning to Valentine’s Day. California state law also reinforces that children benefit from maintaining frequent and continuing contact with both parents, which is outlined in California Family Code §3020, which can be reassuring for fathers worried about losing time with their kids after divorce. These types of shared experiences between all of you will not only be a good for your own mental health, but theirs as well. Having your kids spend that quality time with you will help them adjust well to life after the divorce.
Children, especially young children, are also known to mirror their parents’ behaviors so being able to stay positive around them will only benefit them. While writing them a Valentine’s Day card is sweet, nothing comes close to the value placed on giving them the quality time that they need.
Avoiding Comparison and Social Media Triggers
Social media can be a huge trigger during Valentine’s Day for people that are newly single. Trying your best to limit scrolling through Instagram and Facebook will only do you well throughout the day, and also allow you to focus more on taking care of yourself and your children. It’s also important to remember that if you see posts from others, that does not necessarily reflect real emotional health. It’s much better to concentrate on making the best out of new traditions and celebrations rather than obsessing over how other people are spending their day. Social comparisons are common for most people, especially nowadays with how prevalent social media has become. Understanding this and doing your best to avoid falling into it is very productive.
How Men’s Legal Center Can Help You
You should never tackle this journey alone, and it starts with having the proper legal representation. Whether you need legal guidance or support, Men’s Legal Center in San Diego is here to offer you a free case review so that you can enter this next chapter with as much reassurance as possible. These experienced attorneys are there to make sure you concentrate on what’s truly important: your mental health, your children, and your future.