To come up with a custody plan, you want to quickly understand the custody terms used in Family Court.
Do try to stay on speaking terms with the other parents. The divorce wounds will heal, and you will eventually come to terms with “the death of the relationship” and with your ex emotionally.
As yourself, do you want a family law judge who does not know your children or their needs to make a custody and visitation decision about them. If you are uncomfortable meeting with your ex alone, consider meeting at a public space or even at the courthouse. If there is a restraining order in place, meet at the courthouse. The court room is a safe zone.
To work out your own deal, work up your case and take a hard look at all the factors. First, the first major threshold factor is whether the parents live in the same town. If the parents live in different towns, then the non-custodial parents will want more time during the vacations. If so, what is the vacation schedule of the child(ren)? They age? Can they travel unaccompanied.
Second, if the parties live in the same town ask the following questions you need to know the work schedules of both parents, distance between households and schools, existing family support system, etc.
Finances permitting, retain competent counsel to walk you through different child-sharing scenarios. A seasoned attorney will know where child sharing agreements break and help you reinforce those children sharing problem areas.
