It is natural to grieve the loss of your marriage, but do not let it cloud your judgment or prevent you from protecting yourself and your children’s interests. When emotions run high, the ability to think logically lessens. This means the best course of action is to retain a family law attorney to explain the process and advise how to conduct yourself.
Do not go to the dark side. Do not threaten your spouse or the attorney representing her. Diffuse negative thoughts and energy via individual or group therapy.
Do not give the other side any ammunition she could use in court. That means do not engage in angry or hostile communications via text, email, or social media that can be used against you in court. So, be smart and cut back on social media during your divorce. For example, your ex may use background shots you post on social media to show you are a partier. You might wish to suspend your social media accounts while you are in the midst of any litigation.
Do stay in the family residence. Do not move out simply because she wants a divorce. Legally, you have a right to stay and so does she. If she wants out, you need to tell her to find a place to stay until things get sorted out, but the children will stay with you in the home. If the wife does attempt to take the children, contact your lawyer to file an emergency hearing requesting a restraining order. At this hearing, you can ask why she wants to uproot the children just because she wants a divorce. Keep in mind you have a better chance of coming out of a divorce with a 50-50 timeshare if you stay in the residence.
If you stay in the house, be cautious of false allegations of domestic violence, which unfortunately is a common tactic used as a custody grab. In family law there is a presumption that a party cannot have joint custody if the court finds a parent has perpetrated domestic violence, as there is a high incentive to create a scenario of alleged domestic violence.
Do defuse the situation by starting negotiations. If you stay in the residence with the children retain a competent attorney quickly. Also, diffuse the tension in the family residence by submitting a settlement proposal early on in the process.
