Divorce is inherently stressful for everyone. As one-half of the equation, you can do your part to make your divorce proceed as amicably as possible. Although it’s easier said than done, divorce is an opportunity to begin again. Regardless of what happened in the past, a parting of ways should not be seen as a means for enacting revenge. Avoid these crucial mistakes during your divorce to increase your chances of walking away unscathed.
Don’t Stop Being a Parent
If you’re a parent, the person likely to suffer the most during your divorce is your children. As draining as divorce can be, it’s important to put your children’s needs first. Try channeling that anger and sadness into a more honest and open relationship with your kids. Despite your emotions, remember to stay as levelheaded as possible when you talk to children about what a divorce means for you and your family. With every obstacle that comes your way, consider the effect it will have on your children.
Don’t Neglect Your Finances
Divorce is not cheap. As soon as the divorce process begins, you need to take a hard look at your finances including any joint accounts you share with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, credit card debt, legal fees you might accrue, as well as adjusting to a single-income household. Try to save as much money as possible to prepare for any unplanned expenses in the future. A lengthy dispute over custody could sap your finances to the breaking point.
Don’t Be Afraid of Compromise
While it’s important to be firm throughout the divorce proceedings, stubbornly clinging to property or assets will only drag things down. You’ll save yourself endless grief and thousands of dollars in legal fees if you’re willing to compromise. Rarely does anyone get exactly what they want out of a divorce. Choose your battles and put things into perspective. Holding on to material possessions won’t make your post-divorce life any easier. If you think of your divorce as some crusade for vengeance, think again. Despite who’s at fault, financially crippling your ex-spouse is not the best remedy for your current situation.
Don’t Bring a New Woman Into the Mix
Some men use a new relationship to help them get through their divorce. As tempting as this sounds, a new flame can throw a wrench into your divorce plans. Emotions always run high during divorce proceedings; feelings of jealousy or resentment will only make things worse. If you’re adamant about your new relationship, try to keep it on the down low until your divorce is finalized. Even sharing the good news with your kids can lead to some painful repercussions. Some kids will have a difficult time seeing their father with another woman so soon. Timing is everything. Be sensitive to the feelings of others and wait to announce your new relationship.
Don’t Let Your Emotions Get the Better of You
It can be easy to underestimate the emotional effects of getting a divorce. With so much on the line, it’s important to have someone you can talk to. Reach out to a close friend, your neighbor, a colleague or a psychologist to help you sort out your feelings. While many guys are adverse to the idea of talking about their emotions, no one is immune to the difficulties of divorce. If you keep your emotions bottled up inside, they could slip out when you least expect it, potentially wreaking havoc on your personal life. Take a deep breath, swallow your pride and lean into the reality of the situation.
If you’re going through a divorce, you need the expertise of an experienced lawyer to advise you and guide you through the process contact the knowledgeable attorneys at Men’s Legal Center. Our office is located in San Diego, California, but we proudly serve husbands, fathers and non-custodial parents in many surrounding areas.