One of the hardest conversations you may ever have to have is the one in which you tell your spouse you want a divorce or hear those words from her. This is particularly difficult if the spouse has not committed any of the cardinal sins of marriage: infidelity, addiction or other “deal breakers.” However, there are times when couples simply grow apart or fail to make a marriage work, and when this happens the emotional toll can be devastating for both partners.
The Men’s Legal Center is dedicated to protecting the rights of husbands and fathers. Whether you are on the giving or receiving end of “the talk,” it is important to keep your cool and plan for the future. Talking to the attorneys at the Men’s Legal Center can be the first step in that process.
If Your Spouse Wants A Divorce . . .
Here are a few things to remember if your spouse wants to have the “divorce talk.”
- Your spouse can certainly divorce you if she wants to, and will do so far more willingly if you focus on the negative aspects of the situation.
- Keep calm. The worst thing you can do right now is to beg for another chance, make threats against her or yourself, or try to “punish” her by cutting off funds and taking other punitive action.
- If you do not want the divorce, ask her if you can have some time to work on yourself—not on the marriage. If you ask to “work on the marriage,” you are putting her in a position in which she has to choose, and you may not like the decision. Asking for three months to work on your own issues, however, is usually acceptable when a spouse is “on the fence” about a divorce.
If You Want The Divorce . . .
If you are the one who wants to end the marriage, here are some things to remember:
- Expect your spouse to be upset. No one wants to hear that a marriage has failed, so be prepared for some emotional outbursts.
- Do not negotiate. If your spouse wants to try marriage counseling, agree if you are amenable. However, if you know that ending the marriage is the right move, stick to your convictions.
- Say as little as possible. This is not the time to rehash everything your spouse has done wrong. Instead, talk to an attorney about your case. You may even want to have an attorney contact your spouse and speak for you.
The attorneys at the Men’s Legal Center are ready to help you with your divorce issues.