If you think that a peaceful holiday with your ex in the picture is not possible, you are not alone. Many divorced men feel that their ex-wives contribute greatly to the stress of the holiday season, and in some cases this is all too true. However, there are ways for you to avoid this type of stress and have a peaceful holiday season in spite of your ex. The attorneys at the Men’s Legal Center offer the following advice to have a stress-free holiday and deal with the problems that your ex may create.
- Refuse to engage. That old saying “it takes two to argue” is true. Your ex cannot argue with you if you refuse to engage. This does not mean that she may not resort to some other tactics, but you can save yourself a great deal of bickering by simply refusing to engage in argumentative behavior. If necessary, hang up or walk away from a potential argument.
- It is not reasonable to expect that you will never lose your temper. Your ex knows better than most people how to push your buttons, so be aware that she may try to make you angry and may well succeed. The best defense to this type of behavior is to plan ahead and have coping skills in place to deal with your anger. If necessary, consult an expert such as a counselor or psychologist for tips on controlling angry feelings and defusing yourself.
- Plan ahead. Tempers flare when there are last-minute changes or unexpected problems. Go ahead and plan your holiday travel, transportation, gifts and other details in advance and share them in writing with your ex so that you have time to iron out problems.
- Weigh your options. It is easy to get angry over little things that, in the big picture, do not really matter. When you lose perspective, a 15-minute delay can be the spark for an argument that lasts for years. Keep things in perspective and do not allow small things to bother you. It may help you to set a mental threshold for actions that would warrant an argument on your part. You can then rank events against this metric to see if they are really worth your anger.
The attorneys at the Men’s Legal Center can help you with your divorce and custody issues. Contact us today for more information.