We often think of marriage as a relationship between two people. In reality, however, it’s a relationship between two families.
Whether you love your former in-laws or can hardly stand being near them, navigating your interaction with them following the divorce can be tricky.
In this issue, we’ll share a few tips that will hopefully help you with your post-divorce in-law relationship.
What is the typical in-law relationship?
While the typical in-law relationship we’re presented with is antagonistic, the truth is that many people have completely warm and close relationships with their in-laws.
The notion of an in-law relationship has changed dramatically over recent decades. A Boston Globe article confirmed that in the first part of the 20th century, a potential spouse’s parents were the main reason for getting married. This notion stemmed from the various benefits (career, financial security, social network) that “marrying into the family” could bring.
That notion began to change in the 1920s when it became vogue to think of newlyweds as distancing themselves as much as possible from their parents.
The importance of the relationship cannot be underestimated. During an interview with CNN, a noted psychologist and University of Michigan research professor confirmed that an in-law relationship was a healthy indicator of whether or not the couple would divorce.
What should I do if I had a bad relationship with my former in-laws?
If there aren’t children involved, you can thank your lucky stars that your interaction with your former in-laws has most likely come to an end.
If there are children involved, you’re more than likely going to have to endure at least some contact with your former in-laws for the sake of their relationship with your children.
The main thing to remember is this: just as it’s highly recommended that you not talk badly about your ex around your children, the same rule applies to how you talk about your former in-laws. There’s simply no need – and no payoff whatsoever – for generating more bad blood and negativity.
What should I do if I love my former in-laws?
If your relationship with your former in-laws was a good one, don’t be surprised if they’ve been instructed by your ex to limit their contact with you. While hurtful, try to understand their wish to remain loyal to their child.
Try to be patient as the new structure of your relationship with them is established. This probably will not be a quick transition, so take your time as a new balance is established.
Things to avoid are badmouthing your ex – which will put them in the difficult position of taking sides – and using your interaction with them to find out personal details about your ex.
Facing divorce? Call the men’s divorce lawyer in San Diego.
If you’re a man facing divorce in San Diego, you need the expertise of a lawyer who specializes in men’s rights.
Here at the Men’s Legal Center, we proudly champion the rights of husbands, fathers and non-custodial parents.
To get started with your case, call the Men’s Legal Center in San Diego at (619) 234-3838. You can also reach us through email.