In a previous article, we shared tips for successful co-parenting. But what happens when you have an ex who is less than cooperative with your efforts?
We’ll talk about it in this issue.
What is co-parenting?
Simply put, co-parenting describes a parenting partnership in which both parents are no longer romantically linked (or have never been romantically linked) but continue to take joint responsibility for raising their child.
What can happen if my ex doesn’t help with parenting?
For parents, divorce can be especially difficult – particularly when one is shouldering most of the responsibilities and communication efforts.
In an article published in Psychology Today, experts confirmed that “your children will be at risk for developmental problems” if one parent isn’t committed to a healthy form of co-parenting.
A few examples of signs that you may have a difficult co-parent include:
- Your ex does not communicate with you – ever
- Your child is used by your ex to deliver messages
- Your ex condemns you in front of your child
What can I do if my ex won’t help co-parent?
A Huffington Post article provided a few helpful hints for what to do if you’re having trouble getting your ex to commit to effective co-parenting. We share some of them here.
- Look inward.
The first step is to examine your own actions to see if you are contributing in any way to your ex’s attitude. The key is to be honest. If your ex becomes angry because you’re often late for pickups, then it’s time to adjust your habits.
- Put some distance between you two.
If you’re being berated on the phone, simply say “when you’re in control of your emotions, call me back.” Similarly, if your ex insists on arguing in person, leave until normal – and civil – conversation can prevail.
- Be wary of traps.
Children are fantastic at testing boundaries. Make it a point to enforce the same rules for your residence as your ex has at theirs.
- Commit to open dialogue.
If talking face-to-face is too challenging for either of you, try communicating via email, texts or letters. There are some websites that allow you to upload schedules and share information with your ex.
Facing divorce? Call The Men’s Legal Center
As we’ve said many times, we love children and strongly believe that fathers continue to play fundamental roles in their children’s lives long after a divorce. It’s one of the reasons we established our Great Dads initiative.
If you’re a father facing divorce, we urge you to get in touch with us here at the Men’s Legal Center. We’ll make sure you have the resources and knowledge to position you for the best possible outcome in family court.
You can reach us at 619-234-3838 or via email.