One of the hardest aspects of dealing with any divorce is when you realize that your ex-spouse has hateful, negative feelings toward you. After all, this is a person who was once your “soul mate.” You may also hate your ex if he or she has done terrible things to you. Therefore, it is not uncommon for bad feelings to gain the upper hand in any divorce and for the participants to make poor decisions based on their negativity toward each other.
Why does your ex despise you or treat you poorly even after the divorce is final? The real reasons might surprise you.
- You wanted the divorce. In most cases, one partner pushes for the divorce while the other partner wants to keep working on the relationship. While the identity of the “divorcing” partner may change over time, it is not unusual for the one who was “trying” at the time of the actual separation to harbor resentment. Time will probably heal this wound if you continue to act cordially and refuse to be drawn into the drama, especially if she meets someone else.
- You did not give her enough money. You should realize that for some people, no amount will ever be enough. Additionally, divorce usually worsens the financial situation for both partners rather than improves it, although some men do better post-divorce if their wives were big spenders. Do not get drawn into any type of money conversation with her; this is unproductive and could leave you open to new litigation.
- Your kids are negative toward your ex. Be very, very sure that you are not feeding your kids negativity, even unintentionally. Children pick up on this. Work on a good relationship with your ex and enforce her right to spend time with the children.
- Your ex has lost control. Let’s face it; some people are simply angry when they do not have control over a situation. If your ex is one of those, she is going to be angry at you if you dare to break away. There is little you can do but stay polite and positive; this is a psychological issue that you cannot fix.
- You have a new partner. It is common for both exes to feel a twinge when someone new comes into the former spouse’s life. However, some women are more jealous than others. It may be a good idea to hold off for a bit on introducing your ex to your new partner.
The Men’s Legal Center is here to help you with your divorce issues. Call us today for a consultation.