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The Five Don’ts of Divorce and Custody

divorce and custody

When it comes to divorce and child custody, there are as many things you should not do as things you should do.  It is very important that you understand what not to do so that you do not inadvertently cause problems for your divorce proceedings that can become costly.

Here are five “don’ts” from the Men’s Legal Center:

  • Don’t argue with your spouse.  This is probably the hardest advice to follow, but in the end it can be the most beneficial.  If you do not say it, you do not have to take it back!  You can save yourself a great deal of money and heartache by refusing to argue.  This may mean hanging up or turning off the phone, blocking or deleting emails or avoiding physical confrontations.  If you have children, it is important that you and your spouse communicate about their needs, but do not allow those communications to turn into a shouting match.
  • Don’t spend money.  Do not open any credit cards or move large amounts of cash during this time. Courts see this as an effort to circumvent the negotiation process that is inherent in reaching a fair financial settlement.  Keep a separate account for your household bills, but hold off on big spending until your divorce is final.
  • Don’t use your children to anger your spouse.  If your spouse is constantly “dumping” the kids on you in order to go have fun, this can make you justifiably angry.  On the other hand, if your goal is to get more time with your kids, then think of this as a benefit rather than a disadvantage.  Do not refuse to pick up your kids or spend time with them to “teach your spouse a lesson.”  Children are not pawns and should not be used in a divorce argument.
  • Don’t agree to anything without your attorney’s approval.  Even verbal agreements can come back to haunt you.  Talk with your attorney before signing or agreeing to any conditions as part of a divorce.
  • Don’t date.  This may seem ridiculous, but you are better off waiting to get back into the dating scene after your divorce is final. Not only do you avoid giving your spouse fuel to use against you but you are better mentally prepared to be fair to a new partner.

The Men’s Legal Center has attorneys who can work with you to help guide you through the divorce process.