Of all the pitfalls to avoid while going through a divorce, being convinced by your spouse to not hire an attorney is one of the most important. Simply put, if your spouse has hired an attorney, you need to do the same thing ASAP! Along with getting you to move out of the family home, encouraging you to not hire a lawyer is one of the oldest and dirtiest tricks of the divorce process.
How The Scam Plays Out
Normally deployed when one spouse surprises the other with news of the divorce, this tactic works by your spouse and her attorney successfully manipulating your fragile emotional state. The goal is simple: to leverage the element of surprise to keep you off-balance and ultimately sweeten her side of the eventual settlement.
It may be difficult not to give in to a conciliatory tone struck by your soon-to-be ex and her lawyer. They’ll use phrases like “there’s no reason for our divorce to be combative; let’s work together to make it easy on everybody.” Trust us, the only people they want to make it easy on are themselves.
By their very nature, divorces are often combative and emotionally charged life milestone events. When our emotions are high or we’re agitated, we’re not thinking clearly. Going through a divorce is definitely one of those times when you need to be thinking clearly because there are numerous potential pitfalls you need to be aware of.
Why You Need a Divorce Lawyer
If your spouse has hired an attorney, she’s playing hardball. Ignore the conciliatory tone; it’s merely a trick. A good divorce attorney knows:
- Divorce law backwards and forwards
- All about those pitfalls and traps used in divorce proceedings
- How and when to file motions and petitions
- The intricacies of negation for child and spousal support, division of assets, etc.
- How to make sure you’re getting a fair shake throughout the process
How to Choose The Right Divorce Lawyer
Now that you’ve come to your senses and are ready to hire a lawyer to guide you through your divorce, let’s talk a little bit about how to make sure you hire the right attorney.
Shop around. Hiring an attorney is much like hiring a surgeon; yes, the divorce is going to cost some money but your future does depend upon how it is resolved.
Hire someone specializing in divorce. There’s lots of fields for attorneys to specialize in. You need one who is up to speed with divorce law in your state.
Research attorneys online. A simple Google search of a lawyer’s name or name of their law firm can be very informative.
Talk with the bar. One you’ve selected one or two attorneys for consideration, call your state bar association to make sure they have a good rating.
Men’s Legal is Center is Here to Help You
We know divorce can be a mentally draining experience. The key to getting through it us understanding the abundant options and resources available to you. If you’d like to talk more about those options, contact the Men’s Legal Center in San Diego at (619) 234-3838.