While divorce is hard on both parties, a recent study reveals that divorce can actually be harder on men than on women.
A recent study by the Journal of Men’s Health has shown that divorced men are more susceptible to heart disease, high blood pressure, and stroke compared to married men. In addition, divorced men are 39% more likely to engage in risky behavior and commit suicide.
Other factors can also contribute to men taking divorce harder. For example, men can lose their sense of identity during a divorce. If a man has been defining himself by his marriage, the process of divorce destroys that. Experts suggest that in order to rebuild your self-confidence, you should meet with a support group consisting of men in a similar situation as you. Listening to each other and safely opening up about your problems can give you some much-needed stress relief and set you on the road to rebuilding your identity.
Another big change many men face is a change in their role as “dad.” Men have a natural paternal instinct to be a provider. Lewis Denbaum, a life coach, explains that “if a man is feeling distraught or shameful [because of the impact his family is feeling from divorce], he might disappear from the picture…which is why most post-divorce men need to remain connected to their children…” Though you may not see your children on a daily basis, it is important to maintain your relationship with them. Denbaum explains that “the love that can flow back and forth between you and your children is very healing in itself.”
Part of the healing process is allowing oneself to properly grieve your losses. Men who have feelings of depression often bottle up those feelings, as they have no outlet to release them. Rather than taking this approach, men should consider seeing a marriage counselor, regardless of the current state of their marriage. Denbaum explains that “men have to break through the ‘I’ve got to do it myself and go it alone’ attitude.”
If you are a man currently facing a divorce, it is important to know that you are not alone. The divorce attorneys at the Men’s Legal Center offer their years of experience in aiding you in navigating the treacherous waters of divorce. Offering a wide range of services, including representation in property division and custody issues, the Men’s Legal Center can help you with your unique case. Call the Men’s Legal Center today for an initial consultation.