We’re no strangers to the difficulties that divorce presents. It’s one of the most stressful things a man can go through. You may need to take some time for yourself to decompress and figure things out, and that’s okay. But eventually, you’re going to get back on your feet and potentially connect with someone. It’s understandable to be nervous, but we can help you beat those negative thoughts and feel confident in yourself again.
Talk to Someone
There’s no reason to make this experience any more difficult than it already is. As men, we’re often conditioned to be stoic and hold our emotions close to our chest. This isn’t healthy, as everyone needs to be able to discuss their feelings in a safe and secure environment. Studies have shown that men seek help for anxiety and depression at a lower rate than women, despite reports that we have similar levels of psychological stress.
The reality is that therapy is effective—and it’s for everyone. Depression and anxiety are medical conditions just like diabetes or heart disease. Treating them as anything else only serves to reinforce harmful stereotypes and dissuade others from seeking help. There are a lot of great options, from online therapy to in-person therapists in your area. The grief and pain from a divorce can last several years, but you don’t have to suffer alone; no one does.
Stay Well Groomed
Personal grooming can sometimes go by the wayside during and after a divorce. If you’ve let your routine slide a little, don’t feel bad, you’ve had a lot on your mind. At some point though, you’ll likely want to put more time into your appearance again.
This doesn’t have to be super complicated. Just take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, could that facial hair use some tidying? How about the hair on your head? If thinning hair is giving you confidence issues, there are a variety of hair growth products available to you. If you’ve had the same cut for years, you may decide you want to update your style to something a little more current. There are a lot of different ways to wear your hair, and in 2022, there’s definitely a fashionable hairstyle that’ll fit your look. Sometimes reinventing your look, if even just a little, can help you to feel like you’re finally moving past the more difficult times in your life.
Facial hair is another thing that can really give you a distinguished look, and in many cases, can really complement your hair. Whether or not you choose to grow facial hair is a personal preference. If you do decide to switch things up, make sure to keep it clean and tidy. Not much makes you look more disheveled than unkempt facial hair.
Finally, updating your wardrobe a little is never a bad idea. Believe it or not, this can be a cathartic experience. Some clothing probably carries bittersweet memories and going through and getting rid of what you don’t wear anymore can feel empowering. Taking control of your look not only helps your confidence, but it helps you regain a sense of control and self—a feeling often lost after a divorce.
Avoid Falling Into Bad Habits
We all have our coping methods, some healthier than others. Unfortunately, some of the most common coping mechanisms can be counterproductive and even harmful. Most of us enjoy a drink from time to time, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The issue is when we start to use alcohol (or other substances) to numb our emotions. This is only a temporary fix though, and it can lead to increased depression and become a nasty habit that’s tough to break. We don’t want to tell you to avoid alcohol altogether, but it’s a good idea to monitor your consumption while you’re still going through the emotional turmoil of divorce.
Another thing to consider if you’re newly single is your diet. When you’re going through a stressful time, cooking healthy meals can feel overwhelming. Plus, fatty, unhealthy foods are often our comfort foods. Drinking too much, eating out constantly, and not paying attention to your diet will only make you feel worse in the long run. Fortunately for you, we’ve compiled some easy and healthy recipes for divorced dads. It’s especially important to keep up with a healthy lifestyle if you have children, and this guide can help you take care of the nutritional needs of both yourself and your kids. If you’re mostly cooking for yourself, you might want to consider a meal planning service. These companies offer fresh, easy-to-make recipes that are healthy and often very reasonably priced.
A healthy diet goes hand in hand with physical activity. You might eat well, but you still need to get up and move. It’s the perfect time for it too. Try going for a walk in nature. Sometimes it’s nice to be alone with your thoughts, especially during periods of self-reflection. You could always bring a friend if you’re looking for social stimulation. If you’re a person that enjoys going to the gym, you may find that the endorphins released when you work out can help to alleviate the symptoms of depression and anxiety. Again, you can do this on your own or get a friend or group of friends together. Keeping your body moving will do wonders for your mental health.
Do Things That Make You Happy
You’ve got to get out of the house and do things. It’s tempting for a lot of us to sit in front of the TV streaming Netflix, but it’s bad for your physical and mental health if you’re doing it all the time. Take the time to rekindle an old passion or hobby. Or take up a new one. Finding something that excites you but also takes you out of your comfort zone is a great way to give your self-confidence a boost.
Connect with friends and family, as it’s important to not isolate yourself. You may not feel like hanging out with your married friends, and that’s okay. You can try planning a guy’s night.
Finally, search around to see what kind of things there are to do in your area. A lot of people don’t leave their comfort zone and aren’t even aware of all the fun things right near them! Don’t take yourself too seriously; try going bowling, seeing a comedy show, racing go-karts—it doesn’t matter, just have fun!
Doing things you love is a great way to relieve depression, and pushing yourself even just a little bit out of your comfort zone can do wonders for your sense of self and your confidence.
We know how difficult it is to regain your sense of self after a divorce. The feeling of loss that the end of a marriage brings can be incredibly difficult. However, you can take back your life. Every ending creates the opportunity for a new beginning. You deserve to be happy, so get back out there!