Any time there is a custody and/or visitation dispute, by law the parents are required to go to Family Court Services ("FCS") mediation before going to court.

Although the purpose of mediation is to help the parents reach an agreement regarding custody and visitation, you should keep in mind that if an agreement is not reached, the mediator will prepare a written recommendation for the court. Since the judges rely very heavily on the recommendation of the mediator, you should prepare for mediation as though you were preparing for trial. However, attorneys are not permitted to be present with you at the time of the FCS mediation.

Preparation Prior To Family Court Services Mediation

Pre-Screening Data Sheet. Fill out the Mediation Data Sheet in your own handwriting. Have your attorney mail it in to FCS so it is available to the mediator the day of your appointment. Hand carry an extra copy with you to the appointment.

Orientation. Attend the weekly orientation held every Thursday at 5:15 p.m. in the lobby at Family Court, located at 1501 Sixth Avenue, between Beech and Cedar Streets, downtown San Diego. You do not need an appointment. The orientation will familiarize you with the mediation process and you will feel more relaxed during the mediation.

Index cards. Bring a list of important points you want to make. Write them down on index cards you can refer to if you are afraid you might forget something.

Consultation with mental health professionals. If your case involves serious allegations of misconduct by the other parent, such as physical abuse, drugs, alcohol, or sexual molestation, you may want to prepare for the mediation by having a consultation with a psychologist or a licensed marriage, family and child counselor experienced in child custody matters.

Child-sharing plans. Prior to attending FCS mediation, develop a child-sharing plan. Take into account your work schedule and the other parent’s work schedule. Try to minimize the time that the child will spend with a babysitter. If you think a calendar will help present your case, bring a calendar with you.

Dress. Be well dressed and neat, as if you were on a job interview. This lets the mediator know that this appointment is important to you. First impressions are last impressions.

Alcohol. Do not drink alcohol the night before the appointment; it will linger on your breath.

Joint meeting. Because the purpose of the mediation is to reach an agreement between the parents, the mediator will want to meet with both parents together. If you want to meet the mediator alone, this must be arranged prior to the appointment. Separate meetings are mandatory in cases where domestic violence is present, or where restraining orders have been issued.